Thank you very much.
Happy to see that you think Adrienne deserved it, too.
Sincerely,
Lise Merle
Intertwine Design + Communications
29 May 2009
28 May 2009
Dear Universe
Please let Adrienne do well in P2C tonight.
Besides planning and working and slaving over it for the last several months, she genuinely deserves to win.
She does.
Best Regards,
Lise Merle
Intertwine Design + Communications
Besides planning and working and slaving over it for the last several months, she genuinely deserves to win.
She does.
Best Regards,
Lise Merle
Intertwine Design + Communications
27 May 2009
Of Dogs and Neighbors
When I was small, we had a dog named Mingy. Some of my very, very, very earliest memories are of Mingy. Standing up on his hind legs (which were, I shit you not, no longer than an upright marshmallow) peering into my bed.
With his one good eye. His other eye was blind and was a beautiful milky blue color.
Mingy is the dog that introduced me to animal love. Immaculately bred and exceedingly well mannered, he was a dog that would rather die than shit in the livingroom, and would hardly even lift his head even though there may have been a battery powered Tonka truck furiously entangled in his tail fur.
There was only one time Mingy misbehaved. And it was a DOOZY.
3 doors down from our house lived the Bell family. They were wonderful neighbors to My Mom and I, and let me tell you, I will never forget it, either. Being wonderful neighbors was never more obvious than when they let us hide out at their house and sleep in their own master bedroom when my dad went and threatened to kidnap me. For real. It was serious, then. My Mom joked years later that we should have just laughed because had he the balls required to carry out a kidnapping, he still would have had to take care of something other than himself. And that, was not something my dad was really ever capable of. Imagine, My Mom said, how funny it would have been had he actually gone through with the kidnapping, only to bring you back the next day?
Nevermind, he would have had to get past Wayne first. But that's a whole 'nother story.
In the eyes of a small child, the Bell's were the absolute height of civilization. They had a sunken livingroom and a cavernous blood red bathtub with a light inside it. Oh, how I loved that bathtub. I would pretend to have to pee just to go in there, lock the door and stare at it, sans interruptions. They also always had bread and Crystal Lite on account of their having kids and Bonnie's diabetes. The dad's name was Wayne, who in addition to loving Alice Cooper, had the BIGGEST BOOMIN' VOICE I had ever heard. But all he ever did was laugh, so that BIG VOICE, although startling, was always good to listen to. He also did a wickedly accurate Donald Duck impersonation. Which, I bet I begged him to do no less than 8 million times. Bonnie, the Mom, was a tiny little firecracker of a woman, who never failed to remind me that she held me when I was thiiiiis big (holding out her hands about 8 inches apart) and was also best buddies with My Mom. We lived in a small town full of small minds, and Bonnie and My Mom were like the rebel Moms. Constantly updating eachother of life events, and forever trashing the other neighbors. It was fabulous. If they weren't having coffee at eachother's houses, they were on the phone. From 3 doors down. But, I digress.
The reason I believe today that animals are intuative, and instinctively know who to trust when they are in trouble - is because of Bonnie. More animals deposited themselves on her doorstep, and more kittens found themselves in her basement than could even reasonably be considered coincidental. Because somewhere, deep down, animals knew Bonnie would care for them and NOT throw them in the dugout like our other neighbor, Reynold Belitsky would. Bonnie was a SUCKER for animals of every kind (not just cats and dogs), and allowed her kids, Derek and Dawn (who were both so shiny and perfect it HURT), to bring home the Pense Elementary School's pet guiney pig over school holidays.
One day, shortly after the guiney pig was brought home by the two angelic Bell kids, my mother putzed over to the Bell's (as per usual) to visitquick with Bonnie. As they both stood in the doorway, Mingy, who was always no more than a few steps away, sniffed something unfamiliar inside the door.
To hear my mother tell it, Mingy then proceeded to turn into the devil himself.
Bolting past Bonnie's size 6's, Mingy darted through the kitchen, down the hallway, past the bathroom with the red bathtub, and into Dawn's bedroom.
Before Bonnie and My Mom even got there, he had the guiney pig out of the cage, and with one furious shake of the head - killed that guiney pig dead.
My dog offed the school guiney pig.
Thankfully, it was only another 7 years before we moved and I finally escaped the stinging comments at school about being a coldblooded guiney pig murderer.
My Mom laughed about it years later and said "You can't blame a dog for being a dog".
And that, is how my love of animals all began.
Lucky, me.
Lise
Inertwine Design + Communications
With his one good eye. His other eye was blind and was a beautiful milky blue color.
Mingy is the dog that introduced me to animal love. Immaculately bred and exceedingly well mannered, he was a dog that would rather die than shit in the livingroom, and would hardly even lift his head even though there may have been a battery powered Tonka truck furiously entangled in his tail fur.
There was only one time Mingy misbehaved. And it was a DOOZY.
3 doors down from our house lived the Bell family. They were wonderful neighbors to My Mom and I, and let me tell you, I will never forget it, either. Being wonderful neighbors was never more obvious than when they let us hide out at their house and sleep in their own master bedroom when my dad went and threatened to kidnap me. For real. It was serious, then. My Mom joked years later that we should have just laughed because had he the balls required to carry out a kidnapping, he still would have had to take care of something other than himself. And that, was not something my dad was really ever capable of. Imagine, My Mom said, how funny it would have been had he actually gone through with the kidnapping, only to bring you back the next day?
Nevermind, he would have had to get past Wayne first. But that's a whole 'nother story.
In the eyes of a small child, the Bell's were the absolute height of civilization. They had a sunken livingroom and a cavernous blood red bathtub with a light inside it. Oh, how I loved that bathtub. I would pretend to have to pee just to go in there, lock the door and stare at it, sans interruptions. They also always had bread and Crystal Lite on account of their having kids and Bonnie's diabetes. The dad's name was Wayne, who in addition to loving Alice Cooper, had the BIGGEST BOOMIN' VOICE I had ever heard. But all he ever did was laugh, so that BIG VOICE, although startling, was always good to listen to. He also did a wickedly accurate Donald Duck impersonation. Which, I bet I begged him to do no less than 8 million times. Bonnie, the Mom, was a tiny little firecracker of a woman, who never failed to remind me that she held me when I was thiiiiis big (holding out her hands about 8 inches apart) and was also best buddies with My Mom. We lived in a small town full of small minds, and Bonnie and My Mom were like the rebel Moms. Constantly updating eachother of life events, and forever trashing the other neighbors. It was fabulous. If they weren't having coffee at eachother's houses, they were on the phone. From 3 doors down. But, I digress.
The reason I believe today that animals are intuative, and instinctively know who to trust when they are in trouble - is because of Bonnie. More animals deposited themselves on her doorstep, and more kittens found themselves in her basement than could even reasonably be considered coincidental. Because somewhere, deep down, animals knew Bonnie would care for them and NOT throw them in the dugout like our other neighbor, Reynold Belitsky would. Bonnie was a SUCKER for animals of every kind (not just cats and dogs), and allowed her kids, Derek and Dawn (who were both so shiny and perfect it HURT), to bring home the Pense Elementary School's pet guiney pig over school holidays.
One day, shortly after the guiney pig was brought home by the two angelic Bell kids, my mother putzed over to the Bell's (as per usual) to visitquick with Bonnie. As they both stood in the doorway, Mingy, who was always no more than a few steps away, sniffed something unfamiliar inside the door.
To hear my mother tell it, Mingy then proceeded to turn into the devil himself.
Bolting past Bonnie's size 6's, Mingy darted through the kitchen, down the hallway, past the bathroom with the red bathtub, and into Dawn's bedroom.
Before Bonnie and My Mom even got there, he had the guiney pig out of the cage, and with one furious shake of the head - killed that guiney pig dead.
My dog offed the school guiney pig.
Thankfully, it was only another 7 years before we moved and I finally escaped the stinging comments at school about being a coldblooded guiney pig murderer.
My Mom laughed about it years later and said "You can't blame a dog for being a dog".
And that, is how my love of animals all began.
Lucky, me.
Lise
Inertwine Design + Communications
25 May 2009
Public Safety Announcement
What it says:
Use daily on the body:
Step 1: Cleanse with body wash or bar soap as usual, then rinse.
Step 2: Dispense product into hand and smooth onto wet skin. Start with a quarter size amount for each area of the body (adjust if needed).
Step 3: Rinse.
Step 4: Pat dry with towel.
As with other bath and shower products, this product may make some surfaces more slippery.
What it SHOULD say:
Use daily on the body:
Step 1: Cleanse with body wash or bar soap as usual, then rinse.
Step 2: Dispense product into hand and smooth onto wet skin. Start with a quarter size amount for each area of the body (adjust if needed).
Step 3: Rinse.
Step 4: Pat dry with towel.
This product has been scientifically formulated to make all surfaces slipperier than snot on a doorknob. Never, ever should you attempt to use this product while standing in an upright position. As a matter of fact, even when used in the sitting down position, we recommend retrofitting your bathtub with a NASCAR approved 5-point safety harness in addition to 80 grit sandpaper adhered directly to the bottom of your feet.
Step 1: Cleanse with body wash or bar soap as usual, then rinse.
Step 2: Dispense product into hand and smooth onto wet skin. Start with a quarter size amount for each area of the body (adjust if needed).
Step 3: Rinse.
Step 4: Pat dry with towel.
This product has been scientifically formulated to make all surfaces slipperier than snot on a doorknob. Never, ever should you attempt to use this product while standing in an upright position. As a matter of fact, even when used in the sitting down position, we recommend retrofitting your bathtub with a NASCAR approved 5-point safety harness in addition to 80 grit sandpaper adhered directly to the bottom of your feet.
Now you can't say Oil of Olay isn't completely committed to the health and safety of our consumers.
Because clearly, we are.
Projects, Unfinished
Because here in Saskatchewan, it's threatening to be summer, we have a veriable plethora of outdoor projects on the go.
Because a) there so many, b) there are so, SO many, c) our yard is what you could call "oversized" and; d) finishing outdoor projects is not exactly a strength of mine - our yard is peppered with projects that one could file under On-The-Go.
For instance:
While you're in the city, J. (the husband) says to me, would you mind stopping in at the huge home improvement warehouse (that may or may not rhyme with Chrome Repo) and picking up a coupler for this here irrigation hose?
Of course I wouldn't mind, I replied, demurely.
When I did start to mind, however, was when I arrived at Chrome Repo to find that for every 8 or maybe 10 thousand customers, they had only 1 or no staff to help locate aforementioned hose coupler.
Not willing to follow around a complete stranger with plumber butt in an orange apron for 10 - 15 minutes while they served other well-meaning but completely clueless customers, I decided to find it myself.
In 598 aisles that looked exactly like THIS.
I swallowed my pride and hunted down an Orange Apron and followed it around the store for a full 20 minutes until he had the time to show me that the coupler? For the irrigation hose? Was located exactly two feet to the LEFT of where this photo was taken.
Thanks, Orange Apron Person. Now, if there were only a couple few (dozen) more of you working on any given Saturday...
Next: The Deck.
J. assembled them on the driveway and had a hellofa time. Had to re-something the screw holes because they didn't line up.
See? J. says to me? I KNEW one day I would need this ______ tool!
I put the pillow on. Pier One, if you're wondering.
Also: Fountains.
This one here was a gift from J.'s parents.
His Dad: "It's a fountain. For the corner. It's a CORNER FOUNTAIN. I was thinking it could go right HERE.
(points to the corner)
And so pretty much that's exactly where we put it.
This one here I ordered online.
Now, although I do like the idea of a fountain, there's a few things I don't like about it. Like:
It's loud. Like, running a bathtub kind of loud.
Also, splashy. As evidenced by the water droplets seen in the photo. By the end of the afternoon, the stairs were soaked.
ALSO, one of our children, and I'm not going to say who because I honestly don't know which, may have washed their hands in the fountain. WITH SOAP.
So now, not only is it LOUD, and SPLASHY, but also FROTHY.
Next? Baskets. In which to make hanging topiaries.
Honestly? They got as far as the dirt beside the driveway after I tossed them out of my trunk.
Whatever.
Throughout the day, The Girl was busy, being busy.
She is such a good little thing when it comes to just - playing. And keeping her own self occupied.
This is a sampling of the things she said to us:
My handlebars? On my bike? Are STICKY.
I touched them. Sticky isn't a good enough word for what those handlebars were.
I'm gonna wash 'em. Says The Girl.
OK. Says Me.
Washin' 'em didn't do ANYTHING. So her dad brought out the turpentine.
Which wasn't strong enough to get the stick off, but made her bike ridin' bearable.
OK then.
Earlier in the day, The Girl fashioned a boat out of a box using crayons and markers.
She called her boat the CandP. Why? Because it's for Cats AND People.
And that's how it all went down on Saturday.
Lise
Intertwine Design + Communications
hello@intertwine.ca
Because a) there so many, b) there are so, SO many, c) our yard is what you could call "oversized" and; d) finishing outdoor projects is not exactly a strength of mine - our yard is peppered with projects that one could file under On-The-Go.
For instance:
While you're in the city, J. (the husband) says to me, would you mind stopping in at the huge home improvement warehouse (that may or may not rhyme with Chrome Repo) and picking up a coupler for this here irrigation hose?
Of course I wouldn't mind, I replied, demurely.
When I did start to mind, however, was when I arrived at Chrome Repo to find that for every 8 or maybe 10 thousand customers, they had only 1 or no staff to help locate aforementioned hose coupler.
Not willing to follow around a complete stranger with plumber butt in an orange apron for 10 - 15 minutes while they served other well-meaning but completely clueless customers, I decided to find it myself.
In 598 aisles that looked exactly like THIS.
I swallowed my pride and hunted down an Orange Apron and followed it around the store for a full 20 minutes until he had the time to show me that the coupler? For the irrigation hose? Was located exactly two feet to the LEFT of where this photo was taken.
Thanks, Orange Apron Person. Now, if there were only a couple few (dozen) more of you working on any given Saturday...
Next: The Deck.
We went two full summers in our house without a deck. Tragic, I know.
But because we had a Russian Thistle Problem bad enough to alarm Saskatchewan Agriculture, the deck was put on the back burner until now.
Our friend, BD, and his various brothers (TD & JD, respectively) have been busy building our deck over the past several weeks. As it's "L" shaped, wrapped around our house, 15 feet high and 42 feet long (on one side...), we have many projects relating to the deck under way.
Mainly:
Chairs in which to lounge.
J. assembled them on the driveway and had a hellofa time. Had to re-something the screw holes because they didn't line up.
See? J. says to me? I KNEW one day I would need this ______ tool!
I put the pillow on. Pier One, if you're wondering.
Also: Fountains.
This one here was a gift from J.'s parents.
His Dad: "It's a fountain. For the corner. It's a CORNER FOUNTAIN. I was thinking it could go right HERE.
(points to the corner)
And so pretty much that's exactly where we put it.
This one here I ordered online.
Now, although I do like the idea of a fountain, there's a few things I don't like about it. Like:
It's loud. Like, running a bathtub kind of loud.
Also, splashy. As evidenced by the water droplets seen in the photo. By the end of the afternoon, the stairs were soaked.
ALSO, one of our children, and I'm not going to say who because I honestly don't know which, may have washed their hands in the fountain. WITH SOAP.
So now, not only is it LOUD, and SPLASHY, but also FROTHY.
Next? Baskets. In which to make hanging topiaries.
Honestly? They got as far as the dirt beside the driveway after I tossed them out of my trunk.
Whatever.
Throughout the day, The Girl was busy, being busy.
She is such a good little thing when it comes to just - playing. And keeping her own self occupied.
This is a sampling of the things she said to us:
My handlebars? On my bike? Are STICKY.
I touched them. Sticky isn't a good enough word for what those handlebars were.
I'm gonna wash 'em. Says The Girl.
OK. Says Me.
Washin' 'em didn't do ANYTHING. So her dad brought out the turpentine.
Which wasn't strong enough to get the stick off, but made her bike ridin' bearable.
OK then.
Earlier in the day, The Girl fashioned a boat out of a box using crayons and markers.
She called her boat the CandP. Why? Because it's for Cats AND People.
And that's how it all went down on Saturday.
Lise
Intertwine Design + Communications
hello@intertwine.ca
I Couldn't Have Said It Better Myself
"Excuse my unburdening myself. My worries travel about my head on their well-worn path, and it is relief to put them on paper."
-p. 138 The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society
by Mary Ann Scaffer & Annie Barrows
-p. 138 The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society
by Mary Ann Scaffer & Annie Barrows
22 May 2009
Out of Gas
So. Last night, The Boy had a baseball game in the charming little community of Holdfast, Saskatchewan:
Bethune, as I may have mentioned before, is a smallish town and this is what we saw:
Although Holdfast, Saskatchewan has a diner, two lovely churches, a James' Grocery, two baseball diamonds, and the world's tiniest insurance agency:
Holdfast does not, I repeat, DOES NOT have a GAS STATION.
Which is, as you can well imagine, a spittin' pity when one is as low on gas as I was.
How low on gas, was I, you ask?
THIS low.
After dropping The Boy off at the ball diamond in Holdfast, (which, by the way, is FENCED, thus PERFECT for The Boy's Friend, who, smacked a HOME RUN and was able to run (nay, saunter his way) around the bases....) I set off for the town of Findlater. Yes, FINDLATER, for gas, 19 km down the road.
Now. Here's the thing that got me flustered.
Although there is a sign, with G A S spelled out in BIG BRIGHT LETTERS, and it was only 6pm, on the 2nd busiest highway in the whole province, you would think, wouldn't you? That there would be GAS AVAILABLE.
No. Closed, they were. At 6pm on the second busiest highway in the Province of Saskatchewan.
(Confidential note to Race Trac Gas in Findlater, Saskatchewan:
You might want to consider EXTENDING YOUR HOURS.
Best,
Lise)
What was I to do?
I considered crying. But that wouldn't have done anyone any good, and I wasn't wearing waterproof mascara.
I could try driving south, to the town of Bethune? Yeah. That's what I'll do.
So off again I went. 16 km on the second busiest highway in the Province of Saskatchewan.
ON FUMES.
No sooner had I pulled up the gas pump at the corner of Kelvin & Ford - when my car sputtered pitifully to a stop.
Perfect timing! I thought! I've run out of gas and I'm AT A GAS STATION!
My self congratulation only lasted about 6 seconds. Because it was about THIS time that I realized...NO. It couldn't be! CLOSED?!?!?
Closed.
Being that Bethune, Saskatchewan, in addition to rhyming with Spitoon, Saskatchewan is a smallish (generous) town, perhaps if I called the gas station, perhaps I could reach the proprietor, and perhaps he or she could open the door and sell me some gas for an inflated rate.
Yeeeaaaahno.
Luckily, CAA is a close personal friend of mine. After calling them, and realizing that I would have quite a wait, while they made their way to the town of Bethune, Saskatchewan - I set out with my faithful companion, Isaboo to explore.
Bethune, as I may have mentioned before, is a smallish town and this is what we saw:
I know. Exhilerating.
It was only when the Nicest Person In the Town of Bethune (decided by ME) stopped to ask if I was in need of help. No, I replied. Help in the form of CAA is on the way. But thank you, nice lady for asking.
After an hour, Brad, the owner of Evans Towing, came rumbling down the road in his badass tow truck.
(Brad, you should know, is in posession of the most startling green eyes you have ever seen. This, paired with perfectly straight teeth, and 20 bucks worth of gas has a most disarming effect) I kicked myself for not getting a photo, but I was distracted. By the GREENNESS OF THE EYES.
Not only did Brad, Owner of Evans Towing, located in Lumsden, Saskatchewan RESCUE me, and get me on the road again, he also, in his super manly way, PLUCKED A WOOD TICK OFF OF ISABOO. A situation which was downright vexing me while at the same time giving me a serious case of the skeeves.
I'm not kidding when I say Brad? Is my HERO.
After filling my tank to the 1,2,3,4,5 dash, I was on my way back to Holdfast, where they don't have a gas station, but had The Boy, where I arrived to see the last two innings which also had The Boy hitting a double.
Aah. Small town Saskatchewan. Beautiful and lovely. But fill your tank before you go.
Lise
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