A sampling of conversations I've had with the vets office, begging an emergency appointment:

1. Isaboo has a tick! No, I can't remove it because IT IS ON HER EYEBALL.

2. Isaboo has a rat! IN HER MOUTH. (Turns out that by bringing both Isaboo and the rat carcass into the vet that it was actually a pocket gopher - WHICH IS THE CLOSEST THING POSSIBLE TO A RAT.)

3. Isaboo's leg is broken! She's not walking on it! She's holding it up by her head!

Do you want to know about embarrassment? Izzy had somehow, in a feat of supercanine dexterity, managed to get her front left leg up underneath her collar - thus just immobilizing her leg, not breaking it.

Of course, had I figured this out BEFORE arriving at the vet's office with tears running down my cheeks, I could have AVOIDED the humiliation of the vet collapsing onto the metal examination table in fits of laughter after unceremoniously removing Izzy's collar and freeing her paw. Izzy, not able to refrain herself, proceeded to roll over and smother the vet (who as still slapping the table while hooting and hollering) with doggy kisses - upside down, little furry legs waving happily...